Guilty Mommy

What made me feel really crappy today is not my stomachache or nausea, but it is what I've done to my sweet little daughter.

On Saturday, I brought our for swimming, she loved it! She really enjoyed playing in the water. She didn't know how to swim but I could see she has instinct for it. We spent about an hour there at the pool, and she did not want to leave the pool. So I had to tell her I will take her there again on Sunday.

But...... I forgot I had to work on Sunday!!!

On Sunday, I left home early hoping I could go home early enough to be able to take her to the pool but the weather was unfavorable.... it was raining, so we couldn't go.

This morning, my little woke up before 6 AM, with a big grin on her face.... and the first thing she said to me was "Let's go swimming!"

That broke my heart...... I broke her promise and I couldn't take her to swim today either... I won't be able until next Saturday.

I feel like sh*t now.... I wish I could take her to swim....

Ramona.... I'm sorry.

Dedicated to a betrayal

"I Don't Care Anymore"
By Phil Collins

Well you can tell ev'ryone I'm a down disgrace
Drag my name all over the place.
I don't care anymore.
You can tell ev'rybody 'bout the state I'm in
You won't catch me crying 'cos I just can't win.
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore

I don't care what you say
I don't play the same games you play.

'Cos I've been talking to the people that you call your friends
And it seems to me there's a means to and end.
They don't care anymore.
And as for me I can sit here and bide my time
I got nothing to lose if I speak my mind.
I don't care anymore I don't care no more

I don't care what you say
We never played by the same rules anyway.

I won't be there anymore
Get out of my way
Let me by
I got better things to do with my time
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore
I don't care anymore I don't care anymore

Well, I don't care now what you say
'Cos ev'ry day I'm feeling fine with myself
And I don't care now what you say
Hey I'll do alright by myself
'Cos I know.

'Cos I remember all the times I tried so hard
And you laughed in my face 'cos you held all the cards.
I don't care anymore.
And I really ain't bothered what you think of me
'Cos all I want of you is just a let me be.
I don't care anymore D'you hear? I don't care no more

I don't care what you say
I never did believe you much anyway.

I won't be there no more
So get out of my way.
Let me by
I got better things to do with my time
I don't care anymore
D'you hear? I don't care anymore
I don't care no more
You listening? I don't care no more
No more!

You know I don't care no more!

Uh Oh...

Oh! Sh*t!

I (almost) forgot that this Friday is our 4th Anniversary, and I didn't have any plan for that day. Hmm...but I still have time to think and prepare. Let's make it (very) simple this year!

Dinner.. for sure! but where? which restaurant? what kind of food? arghhhh.....

I have no idea right now and I don't want to do any surprise this year...

I'm taking tomorrow off... will see if I can do anything about our anniversary.

As it is Friday the 13th.. maybe we should go for a horror movie date! hehehehe....

Oh... this sounds fun!

I'm now having fun thinking and planning about our anniversary..on this special day!

I will tell you what we do on our Friday the13th, anniversary... muahahahaha...

Seems like I can't make it simple as I wanted it to be...

I Feel Gooooood!

I just realized that my mission to find out what feeds my soul was really helpful. Not only that I found what lifts my spirit, it also makes me so  happy. I woke up with the feeling that I'm fresh and ready to enjoy my day. I feel lighter... I think I can run a marathon! *I know..I know... it's just only a thought*

I smiled to everything... myself in the mirror, my lovely daughter, motorcycle taxi, teachers at the nursery, pedestrians, shopkeepers, passengers on the sky train, security guards, people who shared the lift and my colleagues. I am smiling now typing this... smile to my computer screen like a lunatic.

Well... I didn't forget to smile to my beloved husband but he left home while I was still not fully awake this morning. So I will send a smile to him via SMS and hope it will make him smile too.

The world looks so bright and shiny when I'm happy. I have a song for all of you...

"Ordinary Miracle" by Sarah McLachlan.

It's not that unusual
When everything is beautiful
It's just another ordinary miracle today

The sky knows when it's time to snow
Don't need to teach a seed to grow
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you every day
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own love

Isn't it remarkable?
Like every time a raindrop falls
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Birds in winter have their fling
They always make it home in spring
It's just another ordinary miracle today

When you wake up everyday
Please don't throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
Cause we are all a part of the ordinary miracle

Ordinary miracle
Do you want to see a miracle?

It seems so exceptional
The things just work out after all
It's just another ordinary miracle today

The sun comes up and shines so bright
And disappears again at night
It's just another ordinary miracle today

It's just another ordinary miracle today...

What feeds my spirit

It's been more than two years since my last post on Blogger.com. I think the reason I was absent here is because the influence of new social media like Facebook and Twitter. I have spent more time using those pages and forgot all about the blogging.

But now since I am on a very important mission -- Finding what feeds my spirit, and one of the way to find that out is to go back and read my old blogs. I expected to find something I really liked to do that made my soul at peace. You know what I have found?

Yes! I found many things that cheer up my spirit. Traveling, Good food, Photography, Drawing - arts and Blogging about all of those I like!

Here I'm blogging again. I don't expect many people to read my blog as same as I never expect people to follow my Twitter. Why? You may wonder why I blog if I don't expect people to read it. Well, it's just like my diary, the old style diary which is supposed to be secret. The diary that I write to myself, so that I can come back and read it again and to bring back some memories. Just to get me back to my nostalgia... that's all.

But I don't mind people reading my blog either, especially the people who read and share their thoughts with what I've written. I always appreciate their opinions.

There are many things happened in the past two years and I cannot remember all of them! *That's why I should blog about them, so I wouldn't forget!* Things have changed and I have changed. I am now a mother of a 19 months old girl who will be 20 months old on Sunday. I didn't think I can be a mother... I don't like kids! But to be honest, I love being a mother. I love my daughter so much. I can tell you that most of my blogs will be talking about her.

Here is my sweet & mischievous Ramona!

Isn't she adorable?

Oh! The washing machine is calling me... I gotta go hang up my laundry.

I promise I will tell you more about our trips to the north last year! See ya!

Seeing a doctor

September 25, 2009

The day after I knew I'm pregnant, it's time to see a doctor.

Getting up late... had brunch, getting ready to go...

Vibhavadi hospital is our destination as it's one of the nearest hospitals from our house. I paid 60 baht for the taxi fare to get to the hospital...

Easy and fast service from the hospital staff... weight checked *secret*, blood pressure checked *normal*

About 5 minutes waiting then it's our turn to see the doctor.

Doctor: What is the reason you're here?
Jane: I'm pregnant. I think I'm pregnant as the magic stick said so...
Doctor: Ok. When was your last period?
Jane: That's the problem.... I don't remember exactly when! I guess in August?
Doctor: It's ok. We will find that out later but if that's when you had your last period then your due date should be......................................... May 18, 2010.
Jane: Oh...ok. Do I need any check up?
Doctor: Nah... save your 300 baht. The magic stick showed 2 lines, right? Then you're pregnant.
Doctor: Now, eat more carrots and broccoli. Don't take motorcycle or Tuk tuk and don't carry heavy stuff.. no more carrying 5 kilos of orange on both sides.... not for these first 3 months.
Jane: Can I ride a motorbike?
Doctor: NO! Can't be rider or passenger!
Jane: Ok.....
Doctor: Can you NOT have sex during these first 3 months?
Jane: *Think* Do we have other choice?
Jane: Nodded her head...
Doctor: Ok. Done! I will see you again next month.

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Got some vitamins and calcium supplement and left the hospital....

Next destination, we went to a book store to get the pregancy bible.... 5% discount from Asia book!

That's it for the day... Advice of the day: During the first trimester, NO SEX!!!

A great news day

September 24, 2009

It's one of the greatest days of my life...

I got the greatest news from the magic stick, it showed 2 purple lines that means I'm pregnant!

Running back to my bedroom, informing this great news to the father-to-be, and then jumping up and down with joy together for a few seconds...

Who should we inform next? Should we not inform anyone? Should I go see doctor today? Should I wait for another test to confirm? Many questions were popping up in my head.....

Well... It's too early. Let me go back to bed and will figure what to do next later...

The father-to-be couldn't hold it any longer. He called his mother to inform her about our great news. Got a recommendation for pregnancy bible: What to expect when you're expecting. We decided to tell her not to tell anyone else until we're ready to tell. Shhhhhh...for now, ok?

Then it's time to tell my mother.... same condition. No telling anybody else until we're ready to shout out the news.

Keeping a secret is hard... keeping this secret is even harder!

We decided to go see the doctor next morning...

I went to sleep with a new feeling... there is something special inside my tummy!
*The magic stick is 99.99% accurate, right?*
*I hope it is!*


Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........

The Fugals' frugal date

Today I'm going to tell you about the date we had this evening and how special it was.

Starting around 4 pm. when I had to go in town for my work, Jeremy tagged along with me. While I was doing my business, he was hanging around at emporium department store. (you can hear his story from his blog)

I finished my work around 6 pm., we met and went to see the DVD portable player that I promised I will buy one for Jeremy after receiving my big pay check for his assistance. He already has the model/brand in mind.... I hope it's not too expensive!!!

Then we felt hungry but we didn't want to have some fancy food here at the restaurants here. We ended up eating at food court for a total of 195 baht for both of us.

After light dinner, we went to supermarket, wandering around, getting what we needed.... we got all what we wanted but yet we didn't leave the place. The reason is.... after 7.30 pm. or around that time, the supermarket will reduce the price of their fresh products like sashimi, cooked food... That's what we were waiting for!

But it was only 7 pm. and my legs were tired.... we decided to go to the cinema. After rock, paper, scissors and Jeremy won... we bought two tickets for "Yes Man" at 8.00 pm. We still have about 45 minutes before the movie start.

Sitting and waiting in front of the popcorn counter... Jeremy was craving for a beer, we went down to supermarket again and we found out that they already have the food discounted!!!

Hooray!!! I grabbed the last box of salmon sashimi (from 185 baht to 130 baht) and Jeremy got his Leo beer. We're ready to go! With my membership card we also got 6 baht discount from our bill. (I loved it!)

Back at the seat in front of the popcorn counter.... we started out frugal supper. While Jeremy is preparing the wasabi and soy sauce, I went to the restroom, took some napkins and we were ready!

A fancy Salmon sashimi... on a bench in front of the cinema...just the two of us. This was my first experience doing that. The movie was good. It was funny, even though I think it's a bit too much like other Jim Carrey's movies but hey! I lost the rock, paper, scissors remember?

At the end, I was thinking it was a really nice and special date, and definitely a frugal one! We should do it more often!

Tear gassing experience!

Photo by Associated Press

Today I have a brand new experience in my life.... I've been shot by tear gas!

As I was covering the protest in front of the parliament this afternoon. I was so unlucky as I was trapped inside the protesters' side when the police started firing tear gas on protesters! I was right there where the police fired more than 30 tear gas canisters on people..... It was the longest 5 minutes in my life..... so torturing.... I couldn't breath... I couldn't see well.... I heard the bombs and they were so close that my ears had temporary ringing noise.

After that I found myself on a small street running away from the crazy scene, hopped on a motorcycle taxi and told the driver "Get out of here ASAP!"

We went to a little further street where there was no effect from tear gas when I called my boss to see where he was. He told me to come back to the scene but this time behind the police lines.... It's safer he said.

I went back there.... found my boss..... and we started working again.... The police kept firing tear gas toward protesters.... until now.

It was really safer on the police side but I still got some tear gas in my eyes and nose and throat... sometimes but hey! I've survived!!!

And that's the most importance right?

I really need a good sleep tonight.... good night everyone!

New camera, more photos!

Yeah!!!!!!!

I'm so stoked! I just bought myself a new digital camera! It's FUJIFILM Finepix S100FS!!! As you can see in the photo.



I have camera now. That means I will take more photos. More photos means more blogs about my photos.... More blogs means my blog is no longer boring... Everybody is happy!! (I hope)

The only problem is.......



I'm so broke now...... but I'm happy. I wish happiness can feed my stomach.....

It's like a song by The Eagles "Love will keep us alive"

Bookworm mode

As a little sister who is 5 years younger than my brother and 8 years younger than my sister, I grew up playing with my imaginative friends or hanging out alone but that's not my problem because I enjoyed it very much.

I have a strange ability to create my own world, so called "Jane's world" where I can spend my time there with myself. When I was in "Jane's world", I wouldn't hear anyone, anything except what I was looking or listening in my own world.

Many of my coworkers experienced me in this mode while I was at work. There was one time I remember that My coworker, Ann talked to me or tried to talk to me about our assignment. She didn't know I was in "Jane's world" at that time (you must know that when I was in my own world, I looked like normal, like I was doing a normal job, but I wasn't actually doing it!!!). She talked to me, told me her ideas, asked me questions but no response. She started waving her hand in front of my face but still no response. It's then she realized I wasn't there....

That happened to me a lot. I can shut the world outside from me. I won't hear anything or see anything except what I want to hear or see. I used to do the psychology test for personal character. My result came as "Normal schizophrenic", how it is normal I'm not sure but I know I am not "schizophrenic".

Maybe that the reason why I love spending time with myself, all alone. I can spend 3 days in my room and not going out once, if I have enough food and books to read. I did actually.

I grew up as a bookworm, I started with Japanese manga, my brother's manga. "Touch" by Mitsuru Adachi is my first book. If I didn't go out with my friends, I stayed home and read books. I liked reading detective stories, murder stories, short stories and also fantasy children books too. When I was 8 years old, Miss Jane Marple was my idol. Some of you may know that my favourite author is Roald Dahl, my all time favourite writer.

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I haven't read any book lately.... I've been lazy. It seems like I've been lazy doing everything I used to love. Well...I think everybody has had this moment in their life.... depends on how often!!!!

The good news is..... I'm not lazy doing the things I love anymore!!!! I play my games again... I take photos again (next blog will have some photos from my latest trip) and I read books again...



The book I'm reading is "Never Suck A Dead Man's Hand: Curious Adventures of a CSI" by Dana Kollmann. I love CSI, I'm not going to deny it. I"m addicted to some shows on TV: CSI, CSI NY, House.... I just love the detective show, forensic is even better! This book is perfect for "Jane's world".

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Now you know the reason why I disappeared sometimes.... the train to Jane's world is coming... I gotta go..... ...............

No camera, no blog

I know I have been absent for awhile. It's because I have been busy... working and trying to make more and more and more money!!!

Why is it so hard to make money????

And that is the reason I didn't blog much lately... (not that I am so lazy.... please don't think anything like that!), another reason is that... I don't have any new photo to share!

My boss gave my memory card to a friend in Burma, he thought it was his..... and I didn't have time to buy a new one yet. So I have the camera but there is no memory card inside.... can't take photo... it becomes a useless camera!

I also have a body of Canon EOS D30. My boss let me use it as he has got a new camera! But... but I don't have the lens yet, same reason..... no time to go shopping for memory card or lens.

No money too!

What I learned from this experience is "No money, no memory"

Just the two of us

Yesterday I had a date with my husband. We went to see a movie "Juno" at a cinema near our place in the afternoon. It was shown on the platinum screen (which costs 50 baht more!!!).

After having lunch at home (to save money), we went to the cinema about 30 minutes before the show time. Queuing for less than 5 minutes to get our tickets (and 2 small bars of chocolate as giveaway gift from cinema). As we had some time left before the show time, so we walked around the mall to kill the time. First we thought we gonna play some games at the arcade, we're about to play air hockey but we didn't have coins for it (next time we will!!). We ended up killing time in a bookstore (as usual) but we didn't get anything there.

It's about 5 minutes to the show times, we went to the theatre and it's too early, we had to wait. Five minutes passed, the staff said to us that the previous round was not ending yet. Another 5 minutes passes, one man walked out of the theatre. We waited.... and waited (not for long) and finally the same staff came and said we can go in now. Hooray!

The theatre was good, leather chairs, no fungus smell and the A/C was at good temperature. We were the first group to walk into the theatre. We got the seats on the back far from the screen but when they started playing teasers and commercials, we heard the noise from the film room. We decided to move closer to the screen as there was nobody else except us there. Watching more trailers, teasers and more commercial for about 20 minutes!!! Finally, the movie started....

*Go see the movie yourself, there is no detail in here!*

It was a good movie, I really liked it! Cool! (I wish I could curse like Juno but it's obviously I can't...never mind)
This is one of the best dates I ever had! Having the whole theatre for just two of us, watching a good movie, laughing out loud, spending time with your loved one. It was a good Monday afternoon.

I love having a date on Monday afternoon!

Jane @ 30

It has become the tradition for me to post the pictures of myself on my birthday. It's to tell you how I look when I am 1 year older!

And yes! I have the photos of me at 30 years old!


*You can see that my left eye was a little swollen. Jeremy accidentally elbowed me the night before -- It's not sleep walking but sleep Thai boxing*



Now you know how I look when I turned 30.... for me I can only say that I still look young and pretty! hehehehehe....

30 is the number!

Right! I'm turning 30 tomorrow....

To be honest, I'm not so thrilled with my birthday this year. Why? Because I have to say good bye to my twenties... I will no longer be a 20 something girl! *sniff sniff*

Buddha said we can't stop birth, age, sickness and death... learn to live with it!

Turning 30 is not bad then! I've never been 30 before! It must be so cool!

What do we know about 30?

April has 30 days...
30 is the country code of International phone call for Greece!! (I always want to go to this country, it's my dream country. Who knows maybe I can visit Greece when I'm 30!)
30 is the atomic number of Zinc... what else?
I'm not really in Chemistry or any science, so that's it! but I know one thing! there are many people I know turning 30 this year... hehehe.. most of my school mates are!!!

and some already did turn 30! (I feel much better now)

It's time to go and to enjoy with 29 years old Jane before she turns 30!
Happy 30th Birthday to Jane!!!!!!! Whoooooooooooooooo.........Yeahhhhhhhhhh!!

Honeymoon trip - Chiangdao

The next morning, we got up early getting ready to go to Chiang dao. We took a local bus about 1 hour and a half to get there for 40 baht each. It was raining all the way from Chiangmai to Chiangdao and still raining when we got to our resort. We didn't do anything in that afternoon because of the rain but we did enjoy relaxing at the resort -- Malee's nature lovers bungalows


The resort area

It was about 4 pm when the rain seemed to stop. We decided to go exploring the nearest cave temple.


Not only us going to the temple that day


The way to the cave


Our destination! Up there! Keep walking!


We saw it on the half way pit stop.


Finally...we made it to the top!


The Buddha statue inside the pagoda

We were lucky that it was no rain when we went up there. The view up there was stunning, breathe taking view but hey! I'd love to breath more as the air was so clear unlike Bangkok's!!! It was worth taking long and deep breathe there.... Ahhhhh.....


The beautiful sky on the way back to our resort

510 steps... that's good enough for the evening work out! Then we went back to sleep..........zzzzzzzz

Honeymoon trip - Part II

After visiting the famous and 'must see' temple, we went back to our hotel and waited for my friend (my ex-roommate from the university), Money, to join us.

But after waiting for awhile, she hadn't shown up yet and we were hungry (again). We asked the hotel staff where to get cheap, local food nearby. He said the walkable area where we can find restaurants is on Nimmarnhemin road, so we headed there.

We tried to look for recommended restaurants in our guidebook but we couldn't find any, so we decided to walk into a restaurant where I saw many Thai folks hanging out there. (That should be a good sign, right?)

Here are our first dinner in Chiang mai:


The famous Northern style curry noodle called "Khao soi"


The Northern style sausages called "Sai ua"


Lemon grass spicy salad with shrimps (Not the Northern style)


Deep-fried soft shell crab with garlic and pepper (Not Northern but I liked to have it!)

Money arrived when we were having dinner, so she joined us and she was so kind to treat us that meal. Thank you Money! Kiss kiss!


Jane and Money

We were lucky to arrive there on Sunday as in Chiang mai, there is a special Sunday night market on the historical street. After dinner, Money was our guide to show us around the market.




It's great for shopping and sight seeing at the same time!

As Money had to drive about 1 hour back to her home in Lampun, so we had to split early that night. Jeremy and I had to get ready for tomorrow trip to Chiang dao too, so we went to bed early. The first day on our honeymoon was great!!! Good way to start!

Honeymoon trip - Day #1

Ahhh... Finally I have time to sit down and get all the photos out of the camera. Now it's time to talk about this honeymoon trip.

Jeremy and I decided to go to Chiang mai as Jeremy never been to the north before. We went there by sleeping train (because it's cheaper and we can sleep too!)


Jeremy on the train


Jane on iPod listening "On the train" playlist

We arrived Chiang mai at 7.30AM (On time!!!! My friend who lives in the north now said she never never experienced on time train!), we took a red mini truck to our hotel "Suan doi house"


The garden view from our front balcony

We thought we could sleep on the train but the train was too bumpy and too cold, so we didn't sleep well. The hotel allowed us to check-in early, and we crashed when we reached the bed.

Waking up from the nap, feeling hungry! Lonely Planet guidebook said the hotel we stay has a wonderful Vietnamese restaurant "Le Gong kum", we decided to try! And they're right!!! The food there was so good.... mmmm.... yummy!


Our starter... Vietnamese style Calamari


Nam neung... It's so goooood!


Vietnamese fresh spring rolls

After our first wonderful meal in Chiang mai, we headed to the famous temple on Doi Suthep. This temple is the 'must see' temple in Chiang mai, they believe that if you come to Chiang mai but didn't come to this temple, it's like you haven't come to Chiang mai yet!!!

So.... we did visit Chiang mai finally!


The most popular shot at the most famous temple

What we learned today on the first day in Chiang mai is taxi drivers in Chiang mai are cheaters! I didn't say all of them are but when they have chance to rip tourists off, they do! I was really disappointed even I've got the warning from my friend earlier but still... I expected that Northern people or Chiang mai people will be friendly and kind but the people I met on the first day are not. They cheated on the Thai people, so FOREIGNERS! BE CAREFUL EVEN MORE!!!

A glimpse of my wedding!!

I know you are waiting for this... but I don't have much time to do all this as I'm going on a honeymoon this evening. Of course I will have more photos from my honeymoon to share with you later...

Here are some of the great moments at my wedding...


Getting pretty for the Tea ceremony!


The bride and the groom!


Mama at the Tea ceremony...


Mom & Dad at the Tea ceremony...


I'm taken!!!


During lunch while Jeremy was singing me a love song and I was preparing a rose for him!


Evening reception on the cruise...


Walking among the guests...


Hmm.... I don't know what to say, I think I looked pretty here...hehehe


And now you may "kiss the bride"...
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It was great... everything went very well. I'm glad to share one of the greatest moments of my life with you all...

Now I'm off to pack for my honeymoon!!! Jeremy will bring his laptop, maybe I can update my blog when I'm away... I'm bringing BBsan's good camera with me! We'll see!

Missed you all... and see you again soon! Kisses.... and of course...hugs!

I'M BACK!!!

Hello!!!! Sawadee ka!!!!
Anybody here?

I'm baaaaaaaaaack!

Yep, I'm back. I'm here to let you know that I'm still alive... no no no... I'm not dead yet. I was just too lazy (as usual)...but I'm back!

Oh! I also come back as a new person too! I'm now Mrs. Fugal! Yes..yes.. I'm taken... I married this wonderful guy named Jeremy. I will tell you more about our wedding soon.

Here is one photo from my friend's camera...


Okay! I'm off... end of the news!